The Lowest Animal

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

You know how almost every examination that tests your grasp over the English language has this question after the most mundane "Unseen Comprehension" passage- "Write a suitable title for this passage."
Well, the aforementioned Douglas Adams quote seems a fitting opening for one of the most sarcastically and intelligently essays I've read. Wave hello to "The Lowest Animal" by Mark Twain.

Yes, I admit Huck Finn was one of my favourite fictional characters growing up, (What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same? is still as endearing today as it was when I first read it!) but it was after reading this essay and realizing that a book like Letters to The Earth existed, that I finally accord Twain the status of a literary genius!
(Hint, my 18th birthday is coming up in 6 months. :D)


Although this essay has been written very obviously as a satire and we can only guess if these are the thoughts genuinely echoed by the author, it is sharp, crisp and surprisingly well-supported in logic and argument. He uses rhetoric and wit to prove that man, rather than ascending from animals like Darwin proposed, actually descended from animals.

He goes on to write, and substantiate with examples, how man is consciously loose in morals, is territorial, experiences the desire to seek revenge and subsequently is the only animal that practices cruelty and engage in organized crime and mutilation. Twain's remark on the hypocrisy of patriotism is hilarious in particular.

"He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy ex­pense to grab slices of other peoples countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his.  And in the intervals between cam­paigns, he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man, with his mouth."

What separates this essay from so many others is that his arguments, no matter how flimsy they seem at the outset, are backed by several studies and social experiments. This isn't sitcom-inspired satire, this is intelligent sarcastic writing.

My opinion? No, I don't think man is the lowest animal.
By their very DNA structure and the complexity of their neuron functions, man should be the greatest. It is its vices that hold it back from being superior, virtue-wise.
But then again, virtues are subjective, aren't they?

Humans and animals make bad judgment calls alike.
Otherwise why would that fly come and sit on my hand right now, and expect not to be killed? :P