10 things a 17 year old girl should know/be able to do.

I'm on Chapter 3 of Norwegian Wood, and there's this great quote here. 

"Only the dead stay seventeen forever', Toru Watanabe says.

And that got me thinking about...Things I should know how to do, theoretically.

1. Know how to cook. I'm not talking your basic omelettes and Maggi, but the whole deal. Atleast 8 varieties of dal AND rice, how to make chapatis (without screaming at the top of your lungs that a roti-maker now exists), and an assortment of side dishes ranging from potatoes to bitter gourd. 

If I don't know how to cook, I am automatically

-A spoilt brat

-Ineligible for marriage

-Irresponsible, and possibly rebellious.

Explanation-I am an Indian. :P

How do I measure up? I'm petrified of turning the gas knob. :(

2. Shake hands firmly.

Girls often have that really limp handshake, probably coz of their incurable neurosis or shyness. (Look left.)

 Then there's that stalker handshake, where they take your hand and don't let go for an inordinately long time.

It's simple, really. Stick out your hand and imagine yourself grabbing a Coke bottle. One-Mississippi-Two-Mississipi. Done.

3. Know the valency and electronic configuration of Beryllium. 

It may just help you someday. :P

4. Read a self-help book or a women's magazine without thinking you need to change one single thing about yourself.

5. Value chivalry when you are at the receiving end of it.

Women are independent and chivalry isn't dead, it just isn't required as much anymore. BUT..

As an answer to the domestic slavery and abuse of bygone eras, women now have this I-aint-need-no-help-from-a-man attitude. So when the poor gentleman actually does pull out a chair for you, you start ranting a feminist speech. 

Stop it. 

There aren't that many gentlemen left in the world anyway.

6. Know that the Twilight series is NOT, and I repeat, NOT literature.

AND

7. Having a crush on a guy who plays a white-faced vampire with crazy hair(read Robert Pattinson) does NOT make you cool or a person with anything resembling good taste.

8. Know how to drive.

It's time to break the above stereotype.The dark ages are upon us. Auto fares have increased. BEST buses are brimming with dirty sweaty armpits.

And Mumbai traffic is well,... It renders me speechless.

I'm going to start learning early next year. Maybe I'll just practice until then!

9. Know directions. 

You should be able to tell a stranger the precise directions to reach Point B from Point A, without messing up right from left, 'go straight' from 'take a left at the crossing, then another left and another left and yet another left'.

10. Know how to detect when people are talking nonsense, no matter how fluent or intelligent it all sounds at face value. Next time someone tells you they have a "ground breaking" proposal for you, or says something like "Our dynamic flow capacity matrix has unprecedented downtime resistance protocols"... 

Please take the time out to smell the bullshit.

Green tea break now.

Later. :)