Tuesday, July 5, 2011

OH MY GOD. Look What Happens When You Wear 365 Days Of Makeup All At Once!


Director duo Lernet and Sander applied a year's worth makeup over 9 hours to the model Hannelore Knuts(what kind of name is that, anyway?).
Why?
"We wanted to apply 365 layers of makeup in one day to see how much is needed to go from a natural look to an outrageous one." they say.


I assure you that:
1. This is pretty messed up.
2. If you try doing the same, you'll resemble Gloppy the Molasses Monster from Candyland. 





Saturday, July 2, 2011

You Remember What You See.

1. Listen to the Governor of Hawaii. That's a lovely way to put it, don't you think?
2. And learn a lesson. Never disturb me when I'm reading. Because if you do, I will ignore you the first few times, and pretend to ignore you every other time.











Education is the purported cure of all social evils. 
To me, the true purpose of education is to give students the command over language to figure out the difference between right and wrong all by themselves. 
So, even if it doesn't right all wrongs, at least every educational institution should do strive to do that. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

Review: Bossypants by Tina Fey


Let's get this out of the way, once and for all: Who is Tina Fey?

Saturday Night Live's first ever female head writer. Sarah Palin impersonator. Producer, actor and head writer of 30 Rock. Improv machine. Comic genius. Coined the words "blorft" and "bossypants". This last, along with her perpetually hunched shoulders, are the reasons she has been hailed the 'sex symbol for the intellectual man'. She is also the woman to be held guilty for every time a guy finds out that his straight girlfriend unashamedly has a crush on her.

Also, just for the record, she signed a $5 million contract to write this book, while winning Emmy's, cutting her daughter's fingernails and spoofing Palin.

If you judge a book by how fast you finish it and its 'unputdownability' (how appropriately Fey-ish of me), this is scream-off-your-rooftops-i-wish-this-book-wasn't-just-275-pages good. It's hugely funny, before you even open the book. The spoofy cover is bound to have your simple father innocently inquiring if it's a book about a lady going through a  gender change operation. My dad did, anyway. Advance praise for the book on the back cover includes one by a guy who eats books saying, 'Totally delicious'. :D

Structured like a memoir but more like a collection of funny life experiences, Fey talks about everything from bewilderment with her first period (it wasn't blue fluid like they showed in advertisements), to her journey towards becoming the most influential funny woman alive. It's characteristically peppered with punchlines such as...

  • On being asked by a photographer what kind of music to play at the shoot- Just murmur "Hip Hop" or make up the name of a hipster sounding band and then act superior when they've never heard of it. "Do you guys have any Asphalt of Pinking? [disappointed] Really? [shrug] Whatever you want, then."

Basically she makes people who think that women aren't funny (read: Christopher Hitchens) feel stupid. Her kick-ass attitude and feminist zeal light up the book even in parts that seem slightly oddly-placed and irrelevant. She takes a stab at misogyny and clears the air about gender politics with equal elan.
But  the stories conceal more than they reveal. She brings up her scar "but I only bring it up to explain why I'm not going to talk about it." It's a system of deflection and self-defense, that allows her to have the last laugh, and lets us join in as well. 


She is completely transparent and extraordinarily funny on the subjects of body image and motherhood. 
The beauty and ugliness of Photoshop, and the grudging acceptance reality that it's here to stay. 
The pain of breastfeeding, and realising the inappropriateness of watching the sexy men of Entourage talking about sex while she's at it. 
The impossible standards of beauty women are expected to conform to, and that Kim Kardashian has been 'made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.'

The thing that I loved most about the book aren't so much the crazy punchlines. It is that she did not attempt to deconstruct her own success and style of humor, like many expected from this book. Rather, her wit and comic timing is on full display in the pages of this book. Cute anecdotes prove she is hard-working and overworked. Even Oprah thinks so. A chapter that is a tribute to her father Don Fey displays her love for family and knowledge of all things important. Talking about her mentor and boss Lorne Michaels, it is clear that she bossypants her way around by example. 


Read it. :)


Thursday, June 30, 2011

A Story of Trial and Triumph: How I now get 22,000 books for free.

Hello yellow fellow.
Say hello to the cool new Blog Manager at The Librarywala Blog.
Yes, now I do have access to 22,000 books for free free free! :D

Here's the latest from there. Tell me what you think. :)
Exclusive Book Review: I Have a Dream

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

CRY.




This is little baby Sana, a girl of 6 I got really attached to, these past few visits to Ghulam Hussain Chawl in Juhu. What makes her even more special is she shares her name with my little sister. A million hugs and kisses wouldn't be enough for this kid, and the potential she has.

Tomorrow morning, she'll go to school for the very first time. :)
^^That's her and her ABCs.

Volunteering for CRY truly is one of the best decisions I've made. 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What's This Talk of Women's Rights?

1. If you get a chance to look at my closet, you'll see a whole lot of whites, blacks, reds and blues. The occasional pink. The rare violet. The elusive grey.  And deep down, nestled between an old sweatshirt and a t-shirt eligible for pension, you'll find a yellow.

That is the yellow I paired with my dark blue jeans and sauntered off to college in, about a year ago. It had been just a week or so into the academic year, when I was still trying to put names to happy faces. The lecture was Political Science. I'm still unsure how that subject found its way into a course on business administration, but BBA is a mixed bag degree anyway. You learn a lot of something, and not much about anything. It's almost a conspiracy to ensure none of us gets too smart. 

But I go astray.Back to Pol Science.
I have a somewhat permanent seat in a corner, towards the back of the class. And yes, I was dreaming of crop circles and what Jack Reacher would look like, if real. The professor was attempting to liven up his class by creating a debate. The necessity of female reservation. Same old same old. Women require governmental assistance. The word 'empowerment' was frivolously thrown around.
When all of a sudden I realized what a sexist turn the entire debate had taken, and how sexist the professor was himself. For the first time, the girl in the yellow t-shirt spoke up and denounced all such drivel. For quite some time after, class-mates came up to me saying, 'I know you. You're the girl in the yellow t-shirt, na?'

2. A girl was voted in as this year's Roadie(popular MTV reality show) ONLY because she was a girl, when far more deserving candidates(men in this case), were voted out because they were men.

You are sexist if you judge a person primarily on their gender. 
History is peppered with instances of women being treated as second-class citizens. Primarily due to religion, and the orthodoxy associated with the same. Witch-hunting is a widely cited example. Ultimately, it was reason that succeeded and enabled women to demonstrate their ability on equal footing with men. 

The basic premise for all moral evaluation is that we are free-willed individuals with the capacity to reason. It is my belief that a person should be judged by their chosen morals, and actions committed of their own free will. To judge somebody on factors that aren't freely chosen, is to ignore the only valid basis on which another human can be judged. It is completely irrational, and to that extent sub-human. We may be praised ad criticized for our actions, not on our skin colour and gender. Politically, this ideal translates into equality before the law; no discrimination against a person but no special favours granted either. 

While humans are politically equal, they are not physically, intellectually or morally equal. But these are factors not determined by gender, race or sexual orientation, and therefore cannot be equalized by special treatment in terms of the same. Which makes egalitarianism a moot point in the political spectrum. Egalitarians make the point that humans are equal regardless of gender, sex, weight, skin colour. Yet, the practical effect of this is to give special treatment to certain groups over others based on their gender, sex, weight and skin colour. It is self-contradictory and hypocritical. A demand for political equality is turned into a demand for something more, when talk of reservations and quotas come into the picture.

Contrary to popular perception, a right is not an entitlement, rather it is a freedom. A freedom to choose. 
It is the freedom to apply for a job, not freedom to be given a job because the employer wants to create a superficial diversity that looks good on paper.
It is the freedom to give a common entrance examination, and to be accepted into an institution based on your marks, rather than the colour of skin.
It is the freedom to work hard and merit a promotion, not freedom to be promoted to complete an "equality quota."

That is the major issue I have with feminism, the basic premise of which is that women are disadvantaged deliberately on the basis of gender. It conveniently evades the issue the reality that men and women are different; not intellectually, politically or morally, but physically and emotionally. There do exist natural differences between men and women, and denial of this fact is denial of sexual identity. And there are many tasks more suited to one gender than the other, and there does exist a natural preference for some occupations over the other by gender. Feminists do not argue for the situation to be more objective and tolerable for all, rather that women should be given a better shot for being women.

I am not oblivious to the fact that there are certain communities that are not treated fairly in the current system. Women. African Americans. The obese.The treatment meted out to them is far from perfect. Everything from sexism to racism to sexual ignorance is prevalent in societies all over the world, developed and under-developed. 
But these are issues that need to fought ideologically. A pertinent role model who can shape cultured ideas and opinions is the requirement. Over-compensating these people with special benefits is not the answer. A sustained change in cultural mindset is.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Where Is My Birthday Party?

You won't believe it if I told you.
Hell, I didn't believe it myself.

In the idyllic haze of pink balloons, paper mache, hand-written invites, cute frocks, scrumptious wafers on paper plates, a fat slice of chocolate cake, games of musical chairs and the rest...
In my eighteen years of existence, I have never had a birthday party.

I've attended so many birthday parties and returned beaming with return-gift in hand, that I somehow assumed I'd always had one myself. No magic show for me. Neither a pinata.

On my wishlist for my 19th, a birthday party at McDonalds with all of the above.
Pleeeeeease. :(

How Can You Not Love Her? :D





“A lot of women are outraged by the use of Photoshop in magazine photos. I say a lot of women because I have yet to meet one man who could give a fat turd about the topic. Not even a gay man. I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool. Do I think Photoshop is being used excessively? Yes. I saw Madonna’s Louis Vuitton ad and honestly, at first glance, I thought it was Gwen Stefani’s baby. Do I worry about overly retouched photos giving women unrealistic expectations and body image issues? I do. I think that we will soon see a rise in anorexia in women over seventy. Because only people over seventy are fooled by Photoshop. Only your great-aunt forwards you an image of Sarah Palin holding a rifle and wearing an American-flag bikini and thinks it’s real. Only your uncle Vic sends a photo of Barack Obama wearing a hammer and sickle T-shirt and has to have it explained to him that somebody faked that with the computer. People have learned how to spot it.”

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Young Adulthood.

(thank you, Flickr)


We would rather be ruined than changed
 We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.

-The Age of Anxiety

W.H.Auden


These lines of verse unfailingly remind me of the people choosing the safe over the risk every single day. It's unfortunate people are more anxious about maintaining that level of safety rather than about taking the plunge.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Forgetfulness: Animated Poetry by Billy Collins


Oh, look what I found. :) :) :)
I love this video! Also check out The Last Cigarette, Man in Space and Now and Then by Billy Collins.
They're just wonderful. Eeeeeeeeee! I love Youtube. :D