Murphy's Laws for poor little management students.

1. If the timetable says college starts at 10 and the first lecture is Politics, then it REALLY starts at 11.30 or never starts at all.  'Absent minded professor' is not another empty obsolete stereotype,mind you.
On the other hand, if the first lecture is Maths, class starts at 9.45 and yes, you're late if you stroll in at ten and won't be given attendance.

2. No class ever starts on time unless you are running late and really need the delay to make it to the classroom.

3.The floor in between the 3rd and the 4th floor, the mysterious P floor, is the scary haunted area that featured prominently in your nightmares. Scientists are working day and night trying to figure out why it exists. CERN came into existence to figure out the mystery behind the floor named P.

4. You will inevitably be squished and squashed in the lift, after waiting for half an hour in the company of wet socks and stinking armpits. But the college has it all figured out. They play Kenny G in the lift to relax you once you get in, and are struggling to breathe.

5. The Georgia tea on the 5th and 7th floor is the best thing in the world.

6. If you want to go bankrupt in a week, eat only and only from the college's very own canteen cutely named Aditi. Items start at Rs.20 and go upto Rs.70. Do the smart thing and make the rich dumb-asses who carry their Apple Mac laptops in the rain everyday to pay.


7.It is possible to pass your midterms by studying for exactly half a minute.
(Says the girl who studied Maths for 2 whole hours the day before, and then wrote 48*3=72 in the paper.)


8. Know the meaning of the word 'twain' to score well in your Effective Communication exam.


9.Don't get me started on the teachers.


10. Next time you hear they finally have a practical approach to studies in India, and the college provides a lot of industry exposure to students etc... Don't believe it. India is rote-learners paradise. That's what makes India, India after all.


"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".


All hail Murphy.

A Letter to My Future Self

Dear Nitisha,

Today is Friday, 27th August 2010.

It's a pretty normal day, really. It's barely even started. College starts at 1.15 p.m. today, so I slept late last night and woke up late too. Yes, that's a big deal right now coz I barely get to stay snuggled in till 9.30!
The paper today says some interesting things.
( I read Times of India right now, but please, "future me", I hope you've migrated to Hindustan Times. It's for the greater good.)

Yeah, it says that Virender Sehwag's ODI mojo is back. All I kept thinking was that Virender Sehwag would probably not even understand the headline, if he were reading it.
Also, Aashayein released today. (Yeah, it releases today and even I don't have a clue about the star-cast so don't worry, it's no onset of Alzheimer if you don't recollect it. Oh wait, my one-time crush John Abraham is in it, but he is SO passe` now!)

Enough small talk.
I have only 3 super-important questions to ask you.

-Is U2 still together? And Sigur Ros? Have you finally seen them in concert?
-Did the world actually end in 2012 and are you the only one left alive, like Will Smith in I am Legend?
-Do you still blog?

(Five questions, I know. Don't catch me on a technicality now.)

And I have one semi-important question to ask you.
Do you still write?
I don't know how many years later you'll actually read this, but sitting here, right now, I know I enjoy writing. About anything.
 I'm midway through an Economics project for my midterms, and I actually had fun analyzing and writing down the findings from histograms and pie-charts.
You're cringing and saying, "I was such a nerd", right?

But writing has always been different.
Ever since you were ten and dreamed of sitting in that plush office, with a view of the skyline, you enjoyed reading literature, learning new words and using them, didn't you?
Writing was always a constant. Putting down thoughts on paper, in a somewhat coherent manner, made you feel alive. Proactive. Productive. It made life easy, it made it interesting. Your writing was always there.
That's why I'd like to know whether you write anymore. Or have you just turned into one of those bitchy career women?

I wonder what you're upto right now. At work? Unemployed? On vacation in the Caribbean?

Let's see. Is there anything I'd like to tell you right now?

Yeah, I have one piece of advice to give you. Keep thinking big. You never thought you'd have the courage to start a blog. You never thought it would cross the 10 follower mark. I'm three months into the blogosphere, and I have 28 followers. You never thought you would find Night by Elie Wiesel. You found the only tired, bruised copy in a tiny corner of Landmark. You never thought you would get 95 in your XIIth Accounts Board exams. You did.
Work hard and act on your passion. Right now, writing is mine. It feels absolutely great, and if you can do it for the rest of your life, don't let anything stop you.
Don't say 'Easy for you to say, I have a crippling work schedule', now. No excuses shall be entertained.

By the way, have you started believing in God?
And do people still write "LOL"?

So Nitisha, are you doing something important with your life yet?
At 5'2", what are your views?

Love,
Me.

P.S. Did Sana finally grow her hair? :)

Respect

"I simply state that I'm a product of a versatile mind in a restless generation — with every reason to throw my mind and pen in with the radicals. Even if, deep in my heart, I thought we were all blind atoms in a world as limited as a stroke of a pendulum, I and my sort would struggle against tradition; try, at least, to displace old cants with new ones. I've thought I was right about life at various times, but faith is difficult."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald


I like the people I meet in general. 
Most in my friend circle are fun-loving with a thin streak of sarcasm, a passion for breaking stereotypes and a flair for drama. 
That's basically what you will figure out within ten minutes of speaking to me too.


And then I think.
There are only SO many people you can genuinely 'like'.
There are people you only claim to like to keep up appearances, and people you like only for the first twenty minutes of conversation.
I like a lot of people, genuinely or otherwise.


It's been a long time I met a person I can not just like, but respect. 
For their scope of thought or abundant talent.


Does this make me a sound like a pretentious snob? Sure.
But I'm just being honest.
I feel like meeting Murakami. Or Whitman. Or someone who can just blow me away.
Anything to get respite from the drudgery and routine of timetables and economics.


Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?
Confucius

Surviving superstition and independent India.

Greetings, all!

If you're reading this, you survived and lived to tell the tell of the "ominous" Friday the 13th!

A day when, if you are even mildly superstitious or believe in statistics backing up these claims, you could have...

-Been hospitalized for a severe case of Paraskavedekatriaphobia- a morbid irrational fear of Friday the 13th.

-Been laid up in bed(or in a morgue,for that matter) coz of a transport accident.

-Had to change your wedding/engagement/big promotion at work/let's leave for my first holiday in 5 years date.

You're alive, and as I write this, I check my pulse rate and I pinch myself. I can't believe it! I actually beat the odds! I'm alive too. Yaaay us! :P

You know who else celebrated being alive and kickin' and so-very-independent this weekend? 

India!!!

Why don't we just answer a few questions here..

Do we know (atleast the opening lines) of Nehru's "Tryst With Destiny" speech? 

Or sing the national anthem right before the movie plays at the nearest multiplex? 

Or sing(okay, lip-sync) the national song in a certain school function? 

Or wear white, or even tri-coloured clothing for just that one day to depict your undying love and devotion towards our motherland?

It's irrelevant what your answers are to these questions. It is definitely not required of you to wear your patriotism, superficial as it may be, on your sleeve.

We belong to a country where 42% of the citizens are below the poverty line, an overwhelming and super-crowded population of 1.1 billion (AND INCREASING EVERY SECOND), 43% of the kids born are underweight and have little access to education or food.

"India is not a powerful country that its wishes are respected by other countries. India is considered as a soft and weak country even if it is progressing economically," the Delhi High Court said in July.

The bureaucracy reeks of corruption and red-tapism, the politicians are money-hungry, laidback and lacklustre when it come to actually delivering on their promises.

Famines. Disease epidemics. Bad sanitation. Secessionists.

You name it, our country has it.

These are pertinent facts, that cannot and should not be ignored.

As my best friend said to me that day, if Gandhiji knew that this was what he fought for so ardently, he wouldn't have done it at all.

This is not to take away from the fact that India HAS changed, and is changing.

I'm not just talking about the flyovers, the multi-storeyed buildings,satellite launches, malls, planes, the thriving private sector, the 2 Indians in the top 5 of the Forbes' annual list of billionaires in the world, the increasing foreign investments, the high-end cars and designer brands, the fact that 36% of NASA employees are Indians or that 38% of the doctors in America are Indians or that 220 of the Fortune 500 companies outsource their work to India.

I'm talking about certain other facts. 

The fact that so many people in rural India are switching to mobile handsets and using ATM facilities.

Or the fact that many venture capitalists believe that the first Computing/Internet experience for rural Indians  (or broadly, most Indians) would be through mobiles and are investing heavily in our country. Railway ticketing, Matrimonials, Astrology, Education, Religious services, Games, Maps,  on-demand movies, etc would be attractive to rural users and in particular to children and house-hold women.

The rising number of grassroot innovators. Take for example cultivating square watermelons for optimal utilization of storage space, almost free refrigeration using earthen-wear pots, the invention of the water-cycle or great successes like community based banks.

These are the stories that make you smile, get up and think, okay, maybe being cynical about our country's independence isn't all that great.

Take an unbiased neutral view of our country. 

Yes, we have more than our fair share of problems; no one's denying that. Just don't take pride in them and show off how absolutely downtrodden and backward our country is. That would not only make you inaccurate and completely one-sided, it would make you seem downright ignorant of ground reality. 

Because things are changing. Slowly, i admit, but surely.

As for myself, I enjoy living in a country so very diverse and with so many problems.

It gives me that much more to work towards.

"This is no time for petty and destructive criticism, no time for ill-will or blaming others. We have to build the noble mansion of free India where all her children may dwell."

-last lines from the Tryst With Destiny Speech by Jawaharlal Nehru.

10 things a 17 year old girl should know/be able to do.

I'm on Chapter 3 of Norwegian Wood, and there's this great quote here. 

"Only the dead stay seventeen forever', Toru Watanabe says.

And that got me thinking about...Things I should know how to do, theoretically.

1. Know how to cook. I'm not talking your basic omelettes and Maggi, but the whole deal. Atleast 8 varieties of dal AND rice, how to make chapatis (without screaming at the top of your lungs that a roti-maker now exists), and an assortment of side dishes ranging from potatoes to bitter gourd. 

If I don't know how to cook, I am automatically

-A spoilt brat

-Ineligible for marriage

-Irresponsible, and possibly rebellious.

Explanation-I am an Indian. :P

How do I measure up? I'm petrified of turning the gas knob. :(

2. Shake hands firmly.

Girls often have that really limp handshake, probably coz of their incurable neurosis or shyness. (Look left.)

 Then there's that stalker handshake, where they take your hand and don't let go for an inordinately long time.

It's simple, really. Stick out your hand and imagine yourself grabbing a Coke bottle. One-Mississippi-Two-Mississipi. Done.

3. Know the valency and electronic configuration of Beryllium. 

It may just help you someday. :P

4. Read a self-help book or a women's magazine without thinking you need to change one single thing about yourself.

5. Value chivalry when you are at the receiving end of it.

Women are independent and chivalry isn't dead, it just isn't required as much anymore. BUT..

As an answer to the domestic slavery and abuse of bygone eras, women now have this I-aint-need-no-help-from-a-man attitude. So when the poor gentleman actually does pull out a chair for you, you start ranting a feminist speech. 

Stop it. 

There aren't that many gentlemen left in the world anyway.

6. Know that the Twilight series is NOT, and I repeat, NOT literature.

AND

7. Having a crush on a guy who plays a white-faced vampire with crazy hair(read Robert Pattinson) does NOT make you cool or a person with anything resembling good taste.

8. Know how to drive.

It's time to break the above stereotype.The dark ages are upon us. Auto fares have increased. BEST buses are brimming with dirty sweaty armpits.

And Mumbai traffic is well,... It renders me speechless.

I'm going to start learning early next year. Maybe I'll just practice until then!

9. Know directions. 

You should be able to tell a stranger the precise directions to reach Point B from Point A, without messing up right from left, 'go straight' from 'take a left at the crossing, then another left and another left and yet another left'.

10. Know how to detect when people are talking nonsense, no matter how fluent or intelligent it all sounds at face value. Next time someone tells you they have a "ground breaking" proposal for you, or says something like "Our dynamic flow capacity matrix has unprecedented downtime resistance protocols"... 

Please take the time out to smell the bullshit.

Green tea break now.

Later. :)

This and That.

Hello,hello.

My blog misses me, I know. And so, I've decided to make a compilation of a few completely random things.

(Which reminds me, how we were all supposed to solve this Effective Communication worksheet in college a couple of days ago, and i just couldn't find a synonym for the word 'random'! Confession: I then Googled it secretly and quickly scribbled down the word 'arbitary'.)

1.METER JAM tomorrow!

This is a strike by the average Mumbai commuter against tampered auto rickshaw meters, arrogant drivers who aggravatingly refuse to drop us to our intended destination, and then have the audacity to overcharge!

The question is-How will I travel to college tomorrow morning, then? :P

2. How many books are there in the world? (No, that is not a rhetorical question to make me seem all bookish smart, there really is an answer now!)

129,864,880 . I'm not sure how accurate it is, but in Google I blindly trust.

Cool, right? :D

3.Fact of the day(if the above was not enough!)-

   "The basic marriage rule in Hindu society is that no individual is permitted to marry outside the sub-caste or jati. Social mobility will be severely restricted by this rule because individuals are forced to match within a very narrow pool. Social mobility, as measured by inter-caste marriage, continues to be low in rural India despite the economic changes within and across castes that have taken place over the past decades. Recent surveys in rural and urban India that the authors have conducted indicate that among 25-40 year olds, out-marriage was 7.6% in Mumbai in 2001, 6.2% in South Indian tea plantations in 2003, and 5.8% for the rural Indian population in 16 major states of India in 1999."

Pathetic, or more pathetic? :-/

4. More on marriage...

"Incense is lit at Taoist temple in Taipei

Incense is lit at a Taoist temple in Taipei. A Taiwanese man out of luck in earthly love has married a goddess after she ordered him to do so in a dream, a report has said."

How I love the crazies of this planet! :P

5. I study in NMIMS. It's almost a month since I first stepped into this college.

It's a place where the faculty is mostly great, the attendance is super strict and the crowd.. Oh my god, the crowd.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was actually sitting in that classroom experiencing the sheer Gujju-ness or wannabe-ishness or I-post-a-video-of-someone-sharpening-a-pencil-in-class-on-Facebook-I'm-so-cool, I would think someone is playing a nasty prank on me. I stir from my daydream to see people play Justin Beiber during the five minute break between lectures and people coming up with the lamest comments, greeted (not-to-miss) by resounding applause and laughter.

At times like these, I thank God for the few normal friends I've made in class. :)

6. Steven Wright once said that he wished the first word he spoke was “quote.” Then, right before he died he could say, “Unquote.” 

Now the world cannot possibly be THAT cool, lest the universe collapse into itself.

But here is a list of a little less awesome last words than the Wright idea, but truly great nonetheless.

Deathbed Witticisms

7. I got my hands on Norweigan Wood!!!

So, now let me go and read.

Bye bye, all. :)

A Tale of Two Aishas.

Aisha.
This beautiful name of Arabic origin means "alive", or "she who lives".

Two Aishas dominated the news this weekend, for two very different reasons.

Let's start with the trivial. The Sonam Kapoor-Abhay Deol starrer Aisha.

(First thoughts as I see this-BIMBOS!)
Why I even choose to write about this Bollywood chick flick is because it is supposedly an adaption of the Jane Austen classic, Emma.
And Emma, is one of the very few classics I can read and re-read forever, and then some.
Now, Bollywood(yes,I will call it that, calling it cinema is like calling fungi beautiful) churns out, at the very least 500 films a year. Is asking for one half-decent movie a year too much? That too, when the story you're drawing inspiration from has been around for the past 185 years. But I see the trailers and all I see is bright hair accessories and trendy shoes and silly dance moves.
This movie has got 2 stars out of 5. Who is surprised?

As a general thumb rule, I don't like watching movie adaptations of books. But tickets have already been booked for this evening by my parents.(I think.) Understandably, my expectations are zero.
I shall concentrate on my caramel popcorn and jumbo Coke in the worst case scenario that we actually do go. :P


Moving on now. To a way less glamorous Aisha.
Bibi Aisha, her name is.

The face on the cover of Time magazine is graceful, serene and unimaginably maimed. The heart-shaped hole where 18-year-old Aisha's nose should be is a mark of justice, Taliban style.

I'm pasting here the New York Times account of her horrific experience.

"At age 12, Aisha and her younger sister were given to the family of a Taliban fighter in Oruzgan Province under a tribal custom for settling disputes, known as “baad.” Aisha’s uncle had killed a relative of the groom to be, and according to the custom, to settle the blood debt her father gave the two girls to the victim’s family.

Once Aisha reached puberty, she was married to the Taliban fighter, but since he was in hiding most of the time, she and her sister were housed with the in-laws’ livestock and used as slaves, frequently beaten as punishment for their uncle’s crime.

Aisha fled the abuse, but her husband tracked her down in Kandahar a year ago, took her back to Oruzgan, and on a lonely mountainside cut off her nose and both ears and left her bleeding. She said she still did not remember how she managed to walk away to find help.

In Pashtun culture, a husband who has been shamed by his wife is said to have lost his nose, Ms. Naderi explained; from the husband’s point of view, he would have been punishing Aisha in kind."


I write this knowing fully well that Taliban-infested Afghanistan is home to a million more such Aishas. After all, 90% of the country's female population is banned from access to education, 97% women in the country show signs of severe depression and thousands are abducted, raped and killed indiscriminately. Reducing women to mere objects, the minister of education says, "It's like having a flower or a rose. You water it and keep it at home for yourself, to look at and smell it. It [a woman] is not supposed to be taken out of the house to be smelled." The plight of women, as stated by another Taliban leader, is that "there are only two places for Afghan women - in her husband's house, and in the graveyard."

From where does one even begin to comprehend the depth and and deep-rooted nature of extremism prevalent in the country? For heaven's sake, we are talking about a country's economy that is driven by its opium and hashish production and export.
And the U.S.A, for all its good intentions, must understand that unless the country decides to pull itself out of the medieval ages, no amount of war will change the sheer depravity of the mainstream figures in that country,be it terrorists, the government or civilians.

Bibi Aisha is travelling to the U.S. for reconstructive surgery this week. As the brave survivor puts it herself, “I don’t know if it will help other women or not, I just want to get my nose back.” 
This is the story of Aisha, eloquently, the girl who lives.


"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."
- Charles Dickens, last line from A Tale of Two Cities 

:-/

There are times you're happy. Joyful. Excited. And then there are these times. When more than anything else, you feel lonely. You reach out for someone who isn't necessarily there. My best and most reliable friends are books. That in itself, makes me feel sad tonight. This is crazy. I have a lot of friends, but tonight I feel lonely. Apart, not a part. I'm not feeling happy right now and i'm not sure why. I'm making myself some hot chocolate now, and will read myself to sleep. Night.

To be or not to be.

The French author François de la Rochefoucauld wrote, "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

This is the guy who came up with 500 reflections on human behaviour. You'd think more people would listen to what he had to say, and take him seriously!

As someone who is 17, not a kiddie, not really an adult, no one knows better what it means to live such a schizophrenic life. 

With your friends you're one person, with your parents another, with your sister you turn into a crazy monkey and at a book-club meeting the sober intellectual with spectacles falling off your nose.

So, what does it mean to be yourself? To be consistent in your behaviour and body language?

I don't see it that way, but most do.

To me, being yourself is being consistent in your basic ideologies and thought processes at all times. 

For example, do you believe in the necessity of violence? No, you say? If that's your answer in any given situation, you're being yourself. On the other hand, if you decide to tell your parents, "No, no, I hate war. Violence only provides temporary relief from hopelessness, and can never be a permanent answer," and tell your friends "War, from time to time refreshes the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants and of patriots. War gives otherwise broken down old men something important to reminisce on. War is good."

.... That is being a little spineless and hypocritical in my books. 

What are your real opinions? (Do you even have any? :P)

I don't see how your behaviour with every single person in your life has much to do with "being yourself". 

You relate to every single person in a different manner, don't you? You can't possibly treat every single person in your life as cattle trains. Laugh at every joke every person in your life cracks, scream at one as mindlessly as you can at the other. They're all different, they all deserve a relatively unique place in your life. 

So, it's okay to be one person with your friend, and another with your parents.

That's what I believe to be correct. Theoretically, at least, it sounds okay to me.

The question is.

Does that not make you a little schizophrenic in the end? A little confused about who you really are? A tiny bit disillusioned with people, expectations, morality?

When and how do we come to terms with who we really are at the core?

Nietzsche wrote, "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe."

To Friends.

At the very outset, Happy Friendship Day to whoever is reading this right now!

I may know you very well, or not at all, but at this moment you're reading something written by me rather than doing the million other things you could have been doing instead. 

And that matters to tiny, baby faced me. So,before I write any further, here's a big hug. :)

Yaaaaay,it is the first of August. 213th day of the year.

The one day of the year many gladly fall prey to the enormously successful marketing strategy of Archies and Hallmark, spending mindlessly on colorful friendship bands and cute little photo-frames. And admittedly

,till 4 years back, I was an avid buyer of all of the below. :P

(These are Archies bestselling items,by the way. I took this picture of their website!)

Today is also the day you are bound to receive countless SMSes on your cell-phone that go something like this.

"If CARE is a WAVE,
i give u SEA.
If RESPECT is a LEAF,
i give u TREE.
If TRUST is a PLANET,
i give u GALAXY,
if FRIENDSHIP is LIFE,
i give u MINE 4 FREE..
keep smiling.my dearest frnd."

Do you feel like smiling with gratitude or throwing up at the cheesiness of that? :P

But today, I think of all my friends.

The girl with whom I played with Barbie dolls in first grade in Coimbatore.

The guy who introduced me to Backstreet Boys in sixth grade.

The girl who I sat with on a scary ride at Essel World for the first time, and who hugged me even as I screamed at her.

The guy who calls me Bundo and messes up my hair all the time.

The girl I've had the most horrible fights with and laughed about them all later.

The guy who gave me 2 music CDs as a farewell gift when I left Calcutta.

The girl who I bunked school with to watch a Himesh Reshamiya movie, "first day first show" just for the kicks. 

The guy who gets drenched in the rain to get me a Dairymilk when I'm not feeling so good.

Tangled up in Blue, Srishti, Sankoobaba, Einstein and others- People I've never met, but have become close companions on my blogging journey.

And I thank all of them.

Just for having been a part of my life, exactly the way they have. :)

"Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,

Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade."

Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3.


I'd like to take that chance to be friends with the "new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade" today.
In case, I don't know you, here, I repost an old blogpost I'd written for you. :)
http://contradictoryexistence.blogspot.com/2010/06/to-stranger.html