Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Can We Please Stop Calling Chetan Bhagat A Representative Of The Youth?




This man has widely been hailed the Lalit Modi of Indian literature, and a brilliantly exploitative marketing genius. However, comparing him to a millionaire pseudo-exiled from his own country is hardly a fair comparison, in my mind. I would rather call him the Dabanng of Indian literature. He provides affordable entertainment to an often overlooked segment of the market. He caters to the Lowest Common Denominator, and is explicitly committed to accepting the people's verdict over critical judgment. Not unlike a lot of corrupt politicians we all know, in that sense. Most definitely, he is responsible for spawning off the reading habit among many of the nation. 

Let me be clear about one thing at the very outset. I am no fan of his work. But this is not a post bashing up an individual who knows exactly what anyone who has read more than ten books in their life will say about him. 
It is just an attempt at understanding what makes him work in some circles, and not in others. Because honestly, I have not the faintest idea how he managed to capture the zeitgeist of middle-class India. He literally took it by storm, didn't he? And who on earth made him eligible to represent me and my kind?

He is said to have opened up the market for a whole generation of non-readers in a country where English is the second language. How? By pricing his book at Rs. 95.
To the best of my memory, I believe it was Anurag Mathur's infinitely funnier, more insightful and better written "The Inscrutable Americans"  that released in '91, that opened the market.

At the Jaipur Literature Festival he said, (I read somewhere on the internet), that critics do not understand his literature, and who he writes for. He said that many people didn't understand that his books are read by government-school kids, for whom English was a second language. He claims that he provides that segment an entry point into the world of literature.
Now, English is a second language for most people in our country. Professors and peons alike. Yet, and I know this from personal experience, English textbooks carry simplified, abridged pieces by renowned literary greats, from Tagore to Blyton to Kipling. Even in Marathi. Who then, does he talk of? 
He fools himself if he truly believes he is doing the general public a great service by his style of writing. All this talk of him being responsive to the literary needs of the masses is all bull in my opinion. Because with that statement comes the implicit suggestion that had we been a society of developed readers, he would have written literature of a higher order. That never fails to amuse me.

Bhagat is a man who has managed to spin his own mediocrity into a virtue. He is extremely unpretentious about the stuff he spins out. A brilliant, inverse-snobbish marketing strategy I bet he picked up in management school. All this talk about 'catering to the masses'? (We all agree he is the best at that, don't we.) His genius lies in catering to the people who don't know enough about books to recognize a quality product if it hit them in the head, sell it at the price of coconuts and woah, next thing you know, you've written a 'bestseller'. He caters to people who never read a book review, and if they ever do, shun it for the 'big words'.
I checked his Facebook page before I wrote this, (look at the tremendous level of dedication), and discovered his 12 principles of writing. All it talks about is how to best commercialize creativity, rather than writing itself.

I know what makes him work. He writes about issues that have captured popular imagination, but are not mainstream. The mediocre lives of students in an elite engineering college. The lives of call centre employees. Inter-caste marriage. Throw in some premarital s-e-x to make it 'cool'.
He attests to the fact that he is primarily an entertainment writer. Agreed. Entertain, he does. In the same way Munni Badnaam Hui and Sheila Ki Jawani entertain.

Let him remain that. That's all I'm pleading for.
(I hope the critics ignore him completely, but I don't expect they will. They enjoy coming with a pre-conceived mindset and filling up good column space with satire and wit.)

Let him not sit at TOI organised "Aman ki Aasha" literary sessions aimed at fuelling a positive India-Pak situation. What he did last year was downright stupid to say the least, if you're in the know. He created a completely us-versus-them scenario with brilliant Pakistani author Mohammed Hanif. His comments were reminiscent of the ill-considered, badly-timed stupidity of India's many chest-thumping, lassi-drinking rednecks.
His recent off-colour tweet on Father's Day, some nonsense about coins and vending machines only reminded me of V.S.Naipul's recent outrageous statement on literature written by women. Maybe Mr.Naipul must take a sharper look at the bullshit people he shares similar genitalia with are writing, before commenting on sentimentality. 
Now he is standing up for the youth by protesting the new drinking law on Twitter. Yes, that will help, Mr.Bhagat. Twitter will save the youth. Unless of course, you can use Twitter the way the people in Libya and Yemen did, which I am very sure it won't.

His attempt at representing the youth, their wants, desires, likes, dislikes, rights and opinions is just a way for bumbling Mr.B to legitimize his work. I am convinced of the fact that his 'saviour of the masses' persona is the only way he can align himself to popular sentiment, stay relevant and sell, sell, sell.

Please. I beg. I plead.
More than anything, I REFUSE to accept Chetan Bhagat as a representative of the youth.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

"The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones."

Joseph Joubert

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'd Happily Talk About Nothing, Just Sit Back And Listen :)



"You see, idealism detached from action is just a dream. But idealism allied with pragmatism, with rolling up your sleeves and making the world bend a bit, is very exciting. It's very real. It's very strong."
                                                                                                                                          - Bono



"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first."
          -Jim Morrison



"Most people gaze neither into the past nor the future; they explore neither truth nor lies. They gaze at the television." 
                 -Radiohead


Sunday, June 12, 2011

End Child Labour: It's Time To Stop Being A Silent Witness.

It's 12th June.
And no, it isn't your poodle's birthday.

I could throw out a bunch of statistics and facts at you right now, regarding children who don't get the chance to be educated.
I could put one of many millions of images of children in waterlogged slums, in shoe-polish factories and cotton industries around the world.
I could share with you how at the tender age of 11, a little boy has already had a career as a miner.
I could start off with a well-meaning quote from a celebrity to put an end to child labour.

There is much more eloquent prose on the subject on the internet, than you can ever expect to read on this blog. That does not stop me from talking about it.
Because unless one talks, one can never be heard.

An issue like child labour can be completely eradicated in a country like India if every person does one simple thing: stop feigning ignorance of the reality you see around you.
Stop ignoring little Chotu who brings you your tea at the roadside dhaba.
Stop acting like you don't see the little child who carries clothes heavier than his own body weight as your presswala.
That's all I ask.

We write off many experiences in life as 'the price to pay' for our given status.
Being lonely at the top. Being harassed on the streets if you wear a short skirt. Being chided for coming out of the closet. Being married off when you're just 14. Being made an errand boy at age 7.
Question this self-anointed price tag.

Drench yourself in the puddle of reality, rather than choosing the comfort of the pavement and umbrella.
As of today, there are 10 million children in India that work rather than study, that battle intense pangs of hunger and thirst  than struggle over simple division, that dance in the rain with no warm place to go back to.
The children are not the problem, but the solution.
That's 10 million solutions.
Simple mathematics.

When friends ask me why I choose to go into slums with open, overflowing gutters to talk to children for a school enrollment campaign, and look at me as if I'm insane- I just smile. Because I'm too busy envisioning a world with no poverty and children happily going to schools every single day. That's not my bold idealism talking, it's a reality we can all create if we choose to. In fact, it is imperative that we do.

Happy Anti Child Labour Day.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Google Doodle, In Memory of the Guitar Hero. :)


To posthumously celebrate the 96th birthday of Les Paul, today's Google Doodle is guitar that you can actually strum! :)

I've been on Google for the past 20 minutes annoying everyone around me with my atrocious guitar playing.
It's a thing of beauty, that's what this is.

Aaah, to think of life before Google. :')

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Why Are People So... Emo?


College Grades Are Of No Use. *sigh*

Proof: It is a fallacy because you start with a normal distribution in the first year, and because the failing students are removed from the tail, the shape of the distribution in the second year isn’t normal anymore. In particular the variance is reduced. Using a normal distribution to score tests year after year artificially increases the variance by multiplying what is essentially noise. This mechanism ensures that the final rankings at the end of college are essentially meaningless.


I found this statement in a comment on THIS article. 


The question is:
What is the point of my 3.7 GPA in my last trimester now? :(

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge: A Song That You Can Dance To.


Lo and behold, it is The Ketchup Song.
In fact, I bet every little kid in the early 2000s knows how the Ketchup dance. Fun times. :D

An Intellectual Justification of Irrational Food Consumption.

"I mused for a few moments on the question of which was worse, to lead a life so boring that you are easily enchanted or a life so full of stimulus that you are easily bored. But then it occurred to me that musing is a pointless waste of anyone's time, and instead I went off to see if I could find a Baby Ruth candy bar, a far more profitable exercise."
Bill Bryson


Truer words were never spoken, in my opinion. 
If I have put on summer weight just by lounging around at home and eating food that is absolutely delish, kill me for it and I shall not care.
:)


On a minor sidenote, it's amusing how people quote other people by quoting them from Wikipedia. :D

Times Are Bleak, I Know, But How Can One Not Love Coke? :)


Just one of those happy commercials. :)