Out of the Lexicon!

I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks now, and have FINALLY compiled a list of some of the most overused, and irritating words and phrases in the contemporary world of the oh-so-great English language. Move over cliches and redundancy. THIS is what gets on my nerves.

1. Just sayin'.
People think saying this at the end of a sentence cushions the blow. Like, "Your wife really has put on a lot of weight, and she is so rude to me whenever we meet. I hate her. Just sayin' "
Here's some news. It cushions no blows and punches.

2.My bad
That is supposedly a cool way of saying "my mistake". There are 2 ways you can go about this. Apologize like you mean it, or just keep quiet. Don't spill hot coffee on me and then say "My bad".

3.Uuuuuum\Hmmmm
 Right. Ummm, do I really need to explain this one? Hmmm?


4.Totally!
 We should "totally" meet up? Nah, I don't think so. And I read this online somewhere a few days ago. The impossible has happened. Totally has now been abbreviated to the much more annoying "totes"!!
Want to kill yourself? *totally* :(


5.LOL
Who're you kidding? You aren't laughing out loud! Hell, you aren't even smiling. Or thinking of smiling. In fact you might want to poke a pencil in the eyes of the person who said that joke, while you type LOL. Or Lolzzz. Or LOLCats. A simple "Haha" or "Now that made me laugh" will suffice. Take my word for it.

6.No offense..
You can bet that something very offensive is going to follow. There's also, "Don't take this the wrong way.." which is almost always followed by something insulting, but of course you aren't allowed to take it personally ;  you had been warned.

7. Oh no, YOU DIDN'T/ Talk to the hand
 Very very very few people can carry off "Talk to the hand" and even then, barely. There's this sassy head movement that always accompanies it, like in the movies. And no, you can't do it.
 No, no, you only think you can. But you can't.

8.Chillax 
 I cringe as I even write this word. I think now, I need to chillax.

9.Whatever
  This can mean a one of two things. It can show indifference, "I just won the lottery" "Yeah,whatever", or that you've lost an argument and can now feign indifference, "You just lost thirty bucks. You're so stupid!." "Whatever, man." Whatever is probably one of the most overused/downright stupid words/phrases I've heard. Yeah, whatever.

10.FTW
"Coffee" "Tea,dude!" "Coffee, FTW (for the win)"
Not so much, really.


Despite what you see above, I am no wordgriper or phrase disparager! I have made the above list by noting my somewhat irrational dislike to how often these words are repeated, often unnecessarily. There's nothing so much wrong with these condemned items ; they're just worn out from over-use.
 

P.S. Also on the list- Kthxbai, "like" when used instead of a comma, don't go there, it's my life.

P.P.S. I'm guilty of using "No offense", "Just sayin;" and "My bad". :P